All of us have encountered two faced people every now and then; people who are actually pretending they love us, help us or even smile at us while they are actually backstabbing us and leave us with scars that won’t ever heal. What we definitely have to do is to congratulate ourselves for identifying such people; our life will absolutely be much better without their fake characters, gossip, and lies.
First, let’s have a brief idea about double faced people you may have met or probably will meet one day:
A) The “Friend”:
That friend who is everywhere with you. You’re always telling him your secrets because you think he is trustworthy enough to keep them. Surprisingly, he has other friends whom he sits with for gossips and he starts telling them all of your secrets in order to be admired by those group of people who have the same bad qualities he has. He might as well tell other’s secrets to you, and the circle goes round and round.
B) The “Colleague”:
That person who is too formal with you whether in college, work, or even your training. He always greets you with a smile and deals with you as if you are a real mate. He tries to make you believe that he is a good acquaintance, but he is one of those who are stabbing you from your back by saying some of the worst words about you. He has nothing to do with you, except for what he wants from you regarding position, name, fame, and status you hold in your professional world.
C) The “Friend-Turned-to-Enemy”:
That person who have all your secrets, but turns on you for a reason no one knows except for him. You can never consider him as a friend ever again once his dark side has surfaced. You never know the level of grudge and hatred he has for you and that’s what makes him a real threat.
Apparently, he is the deadliest of all the double faced people you have met. So beware of how you deal with such character.
So it’s almost impossible not to face one of these characters throughout your journey. Those people who want to be like you but are too lazy to work and be awesome themselves; they try to ruin your life by every mean possible so you become as dumb as they are. The things they want from you may vary, but the motivation won’t. They have chosen deception in order to get it. They behave in a manner that is petty, deceitful, and self-serving.
Therefore, here is your guide to handle such people:
- Identify the backstabber.Obviously, you have to know which character you’re dealing with first.
- Someone who agrees with you when you’re alone together, but when you’re with another group of people he acts in a different way.
- The person who holds a lot of grudges inside and waits for right the moment to take revenge.
- If someone gives you deceptive compliments every now and then or acts as if criticism is a compliment, then he may be hiding jealousy or anger.
- The backstabber who is always annoying and when you ask him to stop doing a certain thing that irritates you, they keep on doing it as if your words aren’t important.
- Besides these signs, keep in mind every person who is able to betray you. If someone keeps repeating what you said in private, it has to be someone whom you trust . If a project you’re working on is being undermined, the backstabber has access to the project materials. So be very careful with who you’re cooperating with.
- Acknowledge that you are dealing with someone false and dishonest.You have to accept the fact that those people are worse than enemies and must be kept away from your life. That’s why you should always be aware while dealing with them.
- Keep your talking to a minimum.If you can avoid the duplicitous person that has been talking negatively about you in your back, then you must. Certainly, that’s difficult when the suspect is a family member or a work colleague, so you have to set clear boundaries concerning what kind of conversation you are willing to listen to from them. If the two-faced individual tries to gossip about other people, politely tell them that this kind of conversations doesn’t interest you.
- Build good relationships with everyone around you.Try to be sociable and positive even when dealing with people you don’t know. This could benefit you in two ways, the first is that those people can tell you who is backstabbing you every now and then so you would know your enemies, and the second is that you’ll always have lots of other good relationships with other people after losing those backstabbers.
- Avoid exposing any personal or sensitive information.
Be sure that people who like to talk adversely about others do not usually keep secrets; on the contrary, they like to use the information they get against other people.
- Learn to spot the backstabber’s signs as early as possible.The longer a backstabber is allowed to spread lies or ruin you, the harder it will be to repair the damage. Here are some signs to easily figure out who is a backstabber:
- You said something in private, and now everyone knows it.
- False rumors reach you regarding what you’ve supposedly done or said.
- People stop trusting you with information, assigning you tasks, or asking you to events that they once did.
- People change and act badly with you for nothing.
- Tell a close friend about your doubts, ask for a friend’s honest opinion, and describe why you are suspicious. If you suspect a specific person, talk to someone who is a common friend between you and him, and ask for his opinion; if you can’t find that common friend, then ask someone who doesn’t know the backstabber personally and ask him what does he think of the backstabber.
- Don’t become a backstabber yourself! DON’T CHANGE! You might be tempted to take revenge on your backstabber by hurting them in the same way. The person who gossiped behind your back did so because of the type of person they are; it is has nothing to do with the type of person you are, but it is their hidden side that has just become apparent.
To sum it up, it is crystal clear that two-faced people exist everywhere around us. Two-faced people do not really like you, but they are really showing the contrast of this as they are envying you, wishing they were as charming and successful as you are, and they are not accepting their nonsense characters. Don’t ever change, keep on shining as if nothing happened, and don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace. It’s not your job to stop them, but it is absolutely your job not to let them affect you.
1) Barnadhya. “Double Faced People: The 3 Types.” Barnadhya Rwitam. N.p., 20 Feb. 2016. Web. 31 Mar. 2017
2) WikiHow. “How to Deal With Backstabbers.” WikiHow. WikiHow, 31 Mar. 2017. Web. 31 Mar. 2017.
3) “9 Tips for Handling Two-Faced Individuals.” Lifestyle on Amerikanki. N.p., 22 June 2015. Web. 31 Mar. 2017.