Does Media Ruin Our Relationships?

Relationships; ruined or supported?

You hold the remote, bring your popcorn, press the power button and take a break in front of your favorite rom-com movies, but have you ever thought how this might affect your relationships? Starting from the fairytales in our childhood where the princess is only saved by her true-love kiss. Moving on to all the famous movies based on soulmates and perfect couples, whether you like it or not; all of these definitely create a perception in one’s mind towards relationships. But, Is it thrilling or threatening?

Supporters believe that all popular rom-com movies show that relationships require hard work. This happens by reflecting some real-life situations between couples which makes them more patient together. Besides, they believe that it can reduce the tension between couples by making them more sensitive when exposed to romantic movies. But this is not true as media oversimplifies the problems that occur between couples. In the article entitled “Romantic comedies are ruining your relationship”, the author Marcia Sorita claims that Hollywood shows us how simple it is in relationships, when one partner completely messes things up, to get it back again. They show the loved one taking it easily without feeling hurt or betrayed or even facing any consequences due to their actions.Moreover, when a person is exposed to many rom-coms, they end up living with a fake expectation and mixing them with their real lives. Also, if they’re already in a relationship they start comparing their partners with the characters in movies regardless that it’s untrue.

The first reason why media has a negative effect on relationships and marriage is that it changes the behavior of men and women negatively. Generally, stalking is known as an annoying and a creepy action. But, because of movies which show it as a romantic gesture, women became more naïve. They started tolerating stalking from men by turning it into a romantic action. In the article entitled “Psychological Effects of Romantic Comedies”, it was quoted that Julia Lippman, a professor at the University of Michigan, said that “[Such movies] can encourage women to discount their instincts. This is a problem because research shows that instincts can serve as powerful cues to help keep us safe.”

In addition to, movies affect the perception of falling in love in men and women’s minds. Although psychologists have never found a clear explanation for how exactly do two people fall in love, but it’s definitely not that easy. First thing that media does is that it shows that falling in love is a very simple action where it is claimed not achieved. This acts as a burden, when two people fall in love and start a relationship then get shocked by the reality. Also, it assures the concept of soulmates, where the couple are always perfect matching to each other, to the fact that they read each other’s minds. In the article entitled “Romantic comedies make us ‘unrealistic about relationships”, Dr Holmes, a psychologist, claimed that marriage counselors often face couples who are expecting from their partner to understand what they need without communication. This is one of the main effects they’ve had from the media where lots of couples are having a problem of miscommunication between each other’s.

Moreover, if we took a look at past centuries, we’ll find that the reasons they’ve had for getting married is completely different from nowadays. Nowadays, people’s main reason for marriage is love, but in past centuries it was never a priority, they used to get married according to lands or kingdoms, then love came the second. Media has played a role in changing the whole society and how it thinks. Furthermore, media simplifies marriage by showing how perfect it is, making the whole society believe that this is normal. This has led to an increase in the rate of divorce. In the article entitled “Does media distort love”, Reid Daitzman Ph.D, practicing clinical psychologist and CEO of Foresight Game Systems said; “A real relationship is one where you take out the garbage, pay the bills and talk about your kids, a lot of it is really boring. What people don’t realize, though, is that the best day of their lives includes all that boring stuff. Because when people don’t have it, they really miss it”.

In conclusion, it would sound totally unrealistic to suggest that we should stop watching movies as it harms people’s relationships, as media has become an essential part of one’s life. Instead, one should be aware of what he’s being exposed to, and realize how it could shape someone’s mind and build up his expectations on a false base. In order to protect our minds, one should filter what he’s exposed to, and not absorb it as a sponge.