Look who’s back..!

Have you ever felt so distant? A stranger in your own skin? A spectator? Watching your life from afar while it goes on the same way you watch a movie..



Photo by: Mohamed Tarek

 

There is a region in the North Atlantic Ocean called the Bermuda Triangle. They say: whatever it is that falls into it gets lost to a point of no return.

Myth? The world is yet to know. That’s exactly what came into my head the minute I lost all sense of that part of me I once took for granted.

 

Have you ever felt so distant? A stranger in your own skin? A spectator? Watching your life from afar while it goes on the same way you watch a movie, unable to control a thing about it? Let me tell you how it feels like: it’s like riding shotgun next to someone else stirring the wheels of your own life, leading you down roads far away from home. A substitute player in a game finale that defines your very own destiny.

 

I wouldn’t say my head was completely wrapped around it, all the Pity, the wishes people make for you without actually feeling your own pain, the eyes that feel sorry but without a promise of help. I learned to be okay with it, telling myself it’s perfectly normal, just a new road and all I have to do is explore it, like the savory temptation following the sweet, but you can’t tame your sweet tooth for long. You can’t help but want to get back, your mind refuses detachment from a life you built and by whom you thought you were promised a forever. You miss the warmth of your own self, you miss feeling complete.

 

The thing about change is that it makes you discover things you never thought existed inside of you. It broadens your limited horizons and stretches them to newer ones. Basically, it makes you realize what you had in hand but never valued; the flowers you thought were so pretty yet never bothered to water. And right when you’re about to accept your changes, like a radio, gradually approaching the right tune, guess who’s back? Like a reverse bang on the head, there’s a chance for your old self to creep back to where it once belonged, with an eraser for the bad memories and the misfortune.

 

But the question is, would you still take it back now?

 

Edited by: Mohamed Ayman