Edited by: Farah Hatem
With every ping on her cell phone, Leila rediscovered more of herself. Her painful journey seemed to be somehow ending, blossoming into a beautiful one, or so she’d hoped. Weirdly enough, the first thing she decided to do was what she was avoiding the most since the moment she started feeling down: opening up about how she truly felt.
She called her mother first to thank her for the lovely pictures that were literally the light at the end of her tunnel then she started to cry her heart out. She told her she hasn’t been okay for a while. In fact, she was so afraid and didn’t want to burden her mother in the middle of her tough days with her sorrows that they weren’t just sorrows. They were silent cries for help that she ignored to keep the ongoing optimistic look going, to keep people’s curious look at rest and mostly to comfort herself that she is not .. depressed.
She thought it would make her weak and fragile to even talk to her mum when in reality it felt like the bravest step she’s recently taken. Her mother was in shock just to hear what her daughter was going through but showered her with the motivation she tremendously needed and the attention she silently begged for. Most significantly emphasizing on how a strong bright young lady she was and how proud she is of her and how she’ll be by her side no matter how painful her decision on the recent situation sounds.
Leila was moved and decided she would call everyone who contributed to even the slightest loss of herself, mentioned comments about her sudden weight loss, her pale looks or worse or even joked about it at all. She spoke bluntly, in reply, to an extent that they didn’t believe it was Leila speaking but she didn’t care. All she cared about was regaining her inner child’s spirit step by step.
It had been 7 months since that day and she had already started a professional therapy journey. Additionally, she traveled to 3 different countries that she dreamt of visiting her entire life, which were: Australia, Brazil, and Italy. She made tons of friends, sky-dived and joined the drama club at her University, not only to overcome her stage fright but also to direct her emotions towards acting and passionately portraying her raw, vulnerable side.
She summoned the miracles’ believer in her as she decided she would undergo the operation. Who knows that mass could surprise them turning into a benign one? X-rays and biopsies could fail too, or maybe the treatment journey would reveal more colorful sides of herself that she would be thrilled to explore like last time. “Doctors could cure the dead” she kept repeating to herself, smiling. Or so thought her 5 year-old-self anyway.