Fight or Flight

Suddenly she remembered some special moments of her childhood



Edited by: Ahmed Abd El-Aal       

 

Rain drizzled on what seemed like the coldest night of December and oddly enough reminded Leila of the tears she was holding back for a while. She was giving the poker face, for a good period of time now, that she had never experienced a version of before.

 

Leila used to be the life of the party and being quite down wasn’t even a word in her dictionary. Lately, she showed symptoms of inclusion that nobody could explain including her, sorrowfully. Surrounded by uncertainty, fear and heaps of disappointment, she got two mere options: fight or flight.

 

Her inner child wanted to take over and fight whoever and whatever ruined her soul. Her more “mature” brain signaled flight which was exactly what she did at that timing, escaping far from the pain and faking the pale smiles here and there.

 

Luckily that day, however, her mum sent her a bunch of old pictures that seemed to ring an old forgotten bell. Her positivity, simplicity, joy and even confidence shone from those pictures; the one of her when she danced with her father on their visit to Disneyland, pictures of their old home, her old bike; pictures of her playing with her dolls and others on the beach playing in the sand so happy and carefree. With each ping of her cell phone, Leila found herself discovering a buried piece of her with a sense of nostalgia yet excitement.

 

Suddenly, she remembered some special moments of her childhood where she dreamed. She dreamed of owning a hospital to cure the dead back to life(according to her 5-year-old self). The way, she longed to own one of those bumping cars to travel the whole world with as well as her ultimate wish of visiting the shiny stars and still her eyes glittered with excitement at that very thought.

 

She smiled through this whole nostalgic incidence. Her mini dreams seemed to wake her brain up, aligning more with her authentic identity, everything from her caring heart to her boundless dreams still made up her now fragile cells.

 

She didn’t even notice her eyes filled with tears until the very first teardrop fell on her sweatshirt. Despite, thousands of creepy stares at her on Campus, and after a very long period of silence, she sensed her soul healing. No matter how bizarre she felt but it did feel like the beginning of another battle, another phase: the “fight ” phase.